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Allison's Story

I have read all the amazing stories on this site and many others & I feel the happiness that the option of using a sperm donor gave many men and women. I understand that happiness very well.

I am a child from a sperm donor. I just learned that my birth father was not my biological father. Being just 15 years old when I learned this, it was very powerful emotionally.

I am still trying to cope with not knowing anything about my biological father: Why he gave his sperm? Did he know that sometime down the line a child, his own flesh and blood, would be living and he would know nothing about him or her? It is hard walking down the street, seeing someone that looks like me, knowing that possibly that person is my biological sister, brother, father, uncle, aunt, cousin, grandfather, or grandmother. They could be related to me, they could the share my background... and I will never know. It is really scary and I don’t know what to think...

I am so happy that my parents decided to look for a sperm donor -- I wouldn't exist if they didn’t. I wouldn't know anything about my mother’s family & that would kill me, I know adopted children feel this way too, but most of them have the chance to pull some strings and find their biological family. They are able to find where they came from. I don't have that opportunity.

I don’t think my biological father understands the consequences -- even if he was a medical student. I still am not convinced that he understood that he was going to be the father of a child. I see ads all the time saying: “Need extra cash? Sperm Donors Needed.” Do sperm donors realize that they aren’t just earning money; they are creating a life?

I am so happy that my mother was able to become pregnant & to have the special bond with me and my sister... I just wish I had a chance to know more about my biological father. All I know is his height, weight, eye & hair color & that he was Dutch. I will never have the chance to know more.

I would like all the parents out there to know that sperm donation is a great thing, but don’t let your children go on thinking that their birth father gave them life & that their hands came from him. Yes, my dad gave me another type of life, but he will never be able to understand that I want to know where my hands, feet, eyes, wild hair, and athletic ability came from. I love my dad, but I long to know if I have any other siblings... I wish my biological father could know how much I want to talk to him, just for 2 minutes, to finally understand why he gave his sperm.

If you are thinking about sperm donation, it is a great and wonderful thing. Your child will love you as if s/he is your biological child, but it is like being half adopted. Understand the child's need to search for who made him or her look the way s/he does... and always remember that despite this curiosity, your child will never forget what their birth father gave them.

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