We married in July of 2004. I was 28 years
old and he was 31. I was confident that we had done
everything "right" by beginning careers,
buying a home and then finally getting married.
Two months later in September 2004 I didn't get my
period and thought that our plans of having a family
had begun. It turned out that I wasn't pregnant and
by December of 2004 our infertility nightmare had begun.
My OB was not really helpful in the process of trying
to get me pregnant. She made me wait a few months before
sending me on to an RE. I was innocent to IF (infertility)
at this point so I went along with her advice.
I became obsessed with OPKs (ovulation prediction kits)
and the trying became overwhelming and took a toll on
our sex life. Finally, in August 2005 we went to our
first appointment with an RE.
It was discovered that I had what appeared to be partial
PCOS and that for some reason
my fallopian tubes were completely deformed and that
pregnancy would not happen without assistance.
We began the process of IUIs.
We completed 7 IUI cycles and each was horribly draining
and again took a toll on our sex lives and for me it
became the prime focus of my being.
I refused to let anyone know what was going on so during
this time our families and friends were not in the loop
about our struggle. This resulted in many questions
of why we didn't have children yet??? What were we
waiting for? If you are reading this story I know that
I don't need to get into that part of the history because
you likely know it all too well.
After the IUIs proved unsuccessful we moved onto IVF
but switched Doctors. We did this because we liked what
another clinic had to offer and lacked confidence in
the staff at our previous clinic. During the IUIs we
questioned timing, drug doses, etc. and we also needed
a fresh start.
By this time it was November of 2006. Two years passed
since we began our journey. We finally told our families.
My parents were heartbroken for us. My mom said that
she guessed something was wrong. It felt good to have
their support and to come out with it finally.
We had our first IVF cycle and 12 eggs were removed.
4 were returned because the quality was just not there.
I felt my heart break when the Dr. made the transfer
and left the room. I was just overcome with doubt.
Two days before Christmas I found out we were successful
and that I was pregnant! We couldn't believe it and
decided to wait to tell our families.
On my birthday in January of 2007 I had a miscarriage.
The embryo didn't continue to develop and so we had
to face the horrible pain that IVF can bring.
It took all of our strength to try again. We scheduled
the second try for May of 2007 and then called to cancel.
We had a long talk and decided to go on vacation first.
Our relationship was really being pulled to it's limits.
My husband was very supportive but didn't share the
negativity that I felt and so it made things hard.
When we returned from vacation I went in for bloodwork
so we could begin our next cycle. I got a shocking call
that I was in fact pregnant ON OUR OWN!!! I called my
husband and didn't know how to explain it. Well, that
didn't last long. It is thought that it must have been
a tubal pregnancy that luckily resolved itself. My HCG
showed a pregnancy but the u/s didn't show anything.
Another miscarriage for us.
During this time I knew that I needed help mentally
but didn't really know how to proceed. By some force
of God or the universe I found the best acupuncturist
and she really helped me on this journey and I feel
that it is because of her that I was so mentally and
physically able to get over the 2 miscarriages and move
on for the second IVF.
IVF #2 happened in July of 2007. They removed 44 eggs
and 25 fertilized. They froze 12. I became ill and began
to fill with fluid but luckily it all resolved and we
transferred 2 blasts on day 6. We found out that we
were pregnant and had a high HCG # so we were thrilled.
But then the number was not growing and we feared that
it was happening to us again...but my lovely acupuncturist
helped me to use mind over matter and I didn't lose
The Dr.s said that they think that I had 2 growing
embryos and one stopped. So at 7 weeks we were able
to see the beating heart of our sweet son who is at
this moment swinging peacefully in his swing in our
We went on vacation to celebrate and just prayed that
it would all turn out fine.
So finally on April 1, 2008 our journey resulted in
the start of our family. So why then, if my dreams came
true and the love of my life is in the next room am
I on the computer researching how soon I can have an
FET? I think because
one is never "cured" of IF and that I want
my boy to have a sibling.
At my 6 week post partum appointment I was told that
since I had an emergency cesarean and some complications
during the pregnancy-I should wait 2 years before TTC
atain. So I am now on a journey to find an OB who understands
IF and will give me different advice because there is
no way I will even wait one year to try an FET.
So our story is not over but the happy part is that
it is no longer the story of myself and my husband.
There are three of us now and we are just hoping that
there will be four.
Thanks for listening.