Sperm & Egg Donation - Thoughts
of Parents, Children and Donors
Updated November 23, 2009
"When my husband and I considered
I was the one who thought that we couldn’t love
a child that was not biologically my husband’s...
Recently I have had a change of heart -- I realized
that if we face a pregnancy together, the baby will
not belong to anyone but us." - Anne
is such a blessing. My husband is so happy that we made
the decision to use donor sperm." - Catherine
"We decided to use donor sperm because
we were concerned about passing a genetic disease on
to our children. It was my husband who made the final
decision on this & I supported it. If donor sperm
is your only chance of ever having a child of your own
go for it! When you and your husband see that baby on
the scan for the very first time your heart will melt."
"I don't feel like it would
be "my" child even though without me it wouldn't
have life. Will I feel left out & have to watch
a different type of relationship develop between them
& my husband because they are a biological family
and I'm not? I feel very confused, hurt & cheated
(I just found out last week of my infertility so its
pretty hard to cope with) so I know I have a lot more
thinking to do but it's comforting to know I'm not alone.
I guess we both have to think
about what the most important thing to us is - how the
child got here or just being able to develop this child
& have that bond that only you can have with a child
that you carry for 9 months even if it's not biologically
yours... I wish you luck with your decision & hope
that you can make peace with whatever decision you make."
- Kellie (considering using donor
"We are on our 3rd IUI
with donor sperm. There are so many people who take
parenthood for granted... I feel lucky that there very
special people who are willing to donate their sperm
and eggs to give us a chance to be great parents. These
people know that it takes more than sperm to be a father
to a child. I know that if we are successful in conceiving,
I will love that baby as my own flesh and blood."
"I was scared.
I knew that my husband and I both wanted a baby, but
how would he feel knowing the baby wasn't his? When
he came home from work, we sat together. We cuddled,
we cried, we drank champagne... The next day, my husband
bought me a book about pregnancy with early pictures
of embryos. We looked at the pictures together. My husband
was with me at every test and every doctor's visit.
We took childbirth classes together and found it to
be an amazingly rewarding experience. By the time we
were nearing the birth, I realized: it's our baby."
"My partner had a vasectomy after
having 6 children with his wife. I desperately want
a child but would rather put the money towards a sperm
donation with a higher success rate than toward an attempt
to reverse the vasectomy. Unfortunately my partner has
a promblem with this and we still haven't worked it
out." - Tamara
"I had a hard
time believing I could love “someone else’s”
child the same as my own biological child. I also found
myself feeling jealous of my husband being able to be
the biological parent. I wanted that connection too."
"I had three daughters of my own
and knowing how much I loved them, it was hard to think
of a couple trying so hard to share their love with
a baby and not being able to. Also, I had a very dear
friend who was having trouble and going through IVF...
I did the donation thinking that I would only do it
the once. I found it so easy that I went on to do it
another two times - all donations had a positive result.
I can't tell you how that makes me fee... it's an amazing
thing and I feel on top of the world for doing it."
- Joanne (egg donor)
always this curiosity in the back of my mind... I wonder
what my biological father looks like. I don't look much
like my mom. I often wonder how many half brothers and
sisters I might have. I wonder what kind of personality
he has, I'm so different from my mom in a lot of ways."
- Liane (born from sperm donation)
I went through 2 lots of oocyte donation for a cousin
that I was very close to. She acted like it was no big
deal for me to donate my eggs to her. She did not even
thank me either time that I went through the egg retrieval
procedure. (surgery done under general anesthetic in
Australia) Ultimately she did not get pregnant and I
would not go through another cycle to help someone that
was totally ungrateful. Egg donation
is a big deal and the donor has to go through a lot
physically to do it. I regret wasting my precious eggs
on someone that did not appreciate it and wish that
I gave them to someone that did. " - Kate
life my parents have been explaining to me how I was
concieved, I feel like that was the best thing they
could do. They were honest to me so I always knew how
I was created. I am extremely grateful for my life and
the mystery man who donated the sperm that made me!"
"Just recently, upon finalizing my
third family to work with, I actually had the pleasure
of meeting the intended mother. At first I was quite
nervous and unsure of what to expect, but once she walked
in the room, all my insecurities went out the window.
This woman, so full of warmth and personality and character,
told me about the horrible experiences she had faced
previously, and the pain and agony she endured with
each failure. She was warm and welcoming, friendly,
and funny. She already had everything she would need
to become a mother, except for the one thing that I
could provide. " - Alex
there is curiosity and it will never go away. I am just
happy to be alive and I love my DAD more than anything
in the world!" - Brandy,
born from sperm donation)
Stories of recipients of sperm donation
and of children born of sperm donation:
(conceived using donor sperm)
Suzanna's Story (conceived using
story - contemplating donating sperm for his sister
and her (lesbian) partner.
Liane's Story (conceived using
Kaleigh's Story (conceived
using donor sperm)
Brandy's Story (conceived using
If you are an sperm donor or have gone
through artificial insemination and would like to tell
your story, we would be happy to hear from you!