Sperm & Egg Donation - Thoughts of Parents, Children and Donors

Updated November 23, 2009

"When my husband and I considered sperm donation, I was the one who thought that we couldn’t love a child that was not biologically my husband’s... Recently I have had a change of heart -- I realized that if we face a pregnancy together, the baby will not belong to anyone but us." - Anne

"Our daughter is such a blessing. My husband is so happy that we made the decision to use donor sperm." - Catherine

"We decided to use donor sperm because we were concerned about passing a genetic disease on to our children. It was my husband who made the final decision on this & I supported it. If donor sperm is your only chance of ever having a child of your own go for it! When you and your husband see that baby on the scan for the very first time your heart will melt." - Judy

"I don't feel like it would be "my" child even though without me it wouldn't have life. Will I feel left out & have to watch a different type of relationship develop between them & my husband because they are a biological family and I'm not? I feel very confused, hurt & cheated (I just found out last week of my infertility so its pretty hard to cope with) so I know I have a lot more thinking to do but it's comforting to know I'm not alone.

I guess we both have to think about what the most important thing to us is - how the child got here or just being able to develop this child & have that bond that only you can have with a child that you carry for 9 months even if it's not biologically yours... I wish you luck with your decision & hope that you can make peace with whatever decision you make." - Kellie (considering using donor eggs)

"We are on our 3rd IUI with donor sperm. There are so many people who take parenthood for granted... I feel lucky that there very special people who are willing to donate their sperm and eggs to give us a chance to be great parents. These people know that it takes more than sperm to be a father to a child. I know that if we are successful in conceiving, I will love that baby as my own flesh and blood." - Scott

"I was scared. I knew that my husband and I both wanted a baby, but how would he feel knowing the baby wasn't his? When he came home from work, we sat together. We cuddled, we cried, we drank champagne... The next day, my husband bought me a book about pregnancy with early pictures of embryos. We looked at the pictures together. My husband was with me at every test and every doctor's visit. We took childbirth classes together and found it to be an amazingly rewarding experience. By the time we were nearing the birth, I realized: it's our baby." - Natalie

"My partner had a vasectomy after having 6 children with his wife. I desperately want a child but would rather put the money towards a sperm donation with a higher success rate than toward an attempt to reverse the vasectomy. Unfortunately my partner has a promblem with this and we still haven't worked it out." - Tamara

"I had a hard time believing I could love “someone else’s” child the same as my own biological child. I also found myself feeling jealous of my husband being able to be the biological parent. I wanted that connection too." - Katie

"I had three daughters of my own and knowing how much I loved them, it was hard to think of a couple trying so hard to share their love with a baby and not being able to. Also, I had a very dear friend who was having trouble and going through IVF... I did the donation thinking that I would only do it the once. I found it so easy that I went on to do it another two times - all donations had a positive result. I can't tell you how that makes me fee... it's an amazing thing and I feel on top of the world for doing it." - Joanne (egg donor)

"...there is always this curiosity in the back of my mind... I wonder what my biological father looks like. I don't look much like my mom. I often wonder how many half brothers and sisters I might have. I wonder what kind of personality he has, I'm so different from my mom in a lot of ways." - Liane (born from sperm donation)

"Last year I went through 2 lots of oocyte donation for a cousin that I was very close to. She acted like it was no big deal for me to donate my eggs to her. She did not even thank me either time that I went through the egg retrieval procedure. (surgery done under general anesthetic in Australia) Ultimately she did not get pregnant and I would not go through another cycle to help someone that was totally ungrateful. Egg donation is a big deal and the donor has to go through a lot physically to do it. I regret wasting my precious eggs on someone that did not appreciate it and wish that I gave them to someone that did. " - Kate

"My entire life my parents have been explaining to me how I was concieved, I feel like that was the best thing they could do. They were honest to me so I always knew how I was created. I am extremely grateful for my life and the mystery man who donated the sperm that made me!" - Kaleigh

"Just recently, upon finalizing my third family to work with, I actually had the pleasure of meeting the intended mother. At first I was quite nervous and unsure of what to expect, but once she walked in the room, all my insecurities went out the window. This woman, so full of warmth and personality and character, told me about the horrible experiences she had faced previously, and the pain and agony she endured with each failure. She was warm and welcoming, friendly, and funny. She already had everything she would need to become a mother, except for the one thing that I could provide. " - Alex

"Of course there is curiosity and it will never go away. I am just happy to be alive and I love my DAD more than anything in the world!" - Brandy, born from sperm donation)

Stories of recipients of sperm donation and of children born of sperm donation:

Natalie's Story
Tanya's Story
Allison's Story (conceived using donor sperm)
Carrie's Story
Mandy's Story
Cynthia's Story
Suzanna's Story (conceived using donor sperm)
Paige's Story
Celia's Story
Jim's Story
Joseph's story - contemplating donating sperm for his sister and her (lesbian) partner.
Liane's Story (conceived using donor sperm)
Kaleigh's Story (conceived using donor sperm)
Brandy's Story (conceived using donor sperm)

If you are an sperm donor or have gone through artificial insemination and would like to tell your story, we would be happy to hear from you!