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Heather's Story
Posted January 20, 2006

My husband and I will be trying to conceive with donor sperm in March. We know our donor, he is a very dear friend. I've come to read your stories just to hear what others' experiences are. I'm compelled to write to those who worry that the child will not be biologically theirs and that they or the child might feel differently about them.

I myself was adopted. My birthmother gave me to her brother and his wife when I was 5 months old. I grew up thinking my birth mother was my aunt on my father's side. I knew I had been adopted because my parents wanted me badly and could not conceive on their own, but I did not know who my birth mother was until I was much older. My parents raised me with values around what makes a mommy or a daddy. It's always been very clear to me who loved me unconditionally -- they are not my "adopted parents" they are my parents. We are very close and I feel very fortunate to have been wanted so much! I never cared who my bio parents were, I felt loved and wanted and cared for. My parents INTENDED to have me and they did a darn good job of it. I thank my lucky stars that I landed with them!

I hope this story may help some who are struggling with this. From the perspective of a child who grew up without either bio parent -- I am well adjusted and in a happy secure marriage, I know my biomother and maintain a relationship with her -- she has her place in my life but neither she nor my biological father will EVER replace my mommy and daddy!

Find out more about sperm donation.

 

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