Posted April 13, 2005
Never in a million years would I have
thought that getting getting pregnant would be so difficult.
I had spent so many years of my adult life trying to
do just the opposite - using contraception to prevent
pregnancy until the time was right.
My husband and I started trying for a baby about 2
years after we were married, but nothing happened. Since
I was 33 years old and didn't want to waste more time,
my husband and I decided to take a more aggressive approach
so we went to a fertility doctor and began doing all
the preliminary tests needed to begin infertility treatment.
All my tests came back normal, but it was then that
we discovered that my husband sometimes had problems
with his sperm count and its quality. Our doctor recommended
that we do IVF with ICSI. Since
our insurance did not cover such treatment and we could
not afford to go to a private doctor, we decided to
do what was covered by our medical group.
We did several rounds of inseminations using my husband's
sperm. Then we did a few more with me taking Clomid
so that I would ovulate more than one egg and increase
my chance of becoming pregnant. Nothing worked and we
were becoming fustrated and tired of the rollercoaster
ride that we were on.
We decided to take a break. To my surprise, three months
later I got pregnant without even putting much thought
into it. We were elated and quite surprised, but our
joy turned into sadness when I miscarried at 9 weeks.
I was so devastated and to make matters worse, I had
to have a D&C performed.
It was at this point that we decided to go to the specialist
our original doctor had suggested. Although we could
not afford the treatment, we really had no choice and
so we began using our credit cards to finance my IVF
In the fall of 2002 I began preparing myself for my
first IVF attempt. This meant taking pills and shots
and more shots and having surgery to retreive my eggs
and then taking more shots.
Twenty eggs were retreived and ICSI was performed
on the 12 best quality. Eight turned into embryos good
enough for implanting. We decided to implant the four
best and freeze the four remaining.
We kept our fingers crossed and hoped for the best.
Two weeks after the embryo transer I went into the doctors
office for a blood test. I could not believe it when
they called with the good news... I was pregnant. Again,
we were excited and but also quite cautious. A week
later I began spotting and cramping. I went back to
the doctors office for blood work and was told that
things did not look good. Several days later I lost
the pregnancy. Again we were devestated and saddened,
not to mention about $14,000 in debt.
We decided to take another break from the all the baby-making
madness and wouldn't you know it, three months later
I found myself pregnant again. This time the pregnancy
lasted for seven weeks. My doctor could not understand
why this had happened to me again - there were no definite
answers, just theories.
Four months after my last miscarriage we decided to
try another IVF attempt. I took all the drugs again,
did all the shots, did the surgery for the egg retreival.
This time we had only six good embryos to implant and
decided to implant all six to increase our chances of
getting pregnant. Absolutely nothing happened this time
and now we were about $30,000 in debt.
Again we decided to take a break. My body felt so bruised
and battered from all the injections, the surgery and
medication. We went on a three week vacation and it
was then that I started to accept the fact that I may
never become a mother. I was actually getting used to
the idea of my husband and I living the rest of our
lives without children, and it didn't really seem so
bad. It was also at that moment that I decided that
I could not put myself through anymore fertility treatments.
I had just had enough. But what would become of the
four frozen embryos that we had left over from the first
IVF attempt? We decided that we owed it to ourselves
to give it one more try. Yes, we would try one more
time and that would be it. We would get on with our
lives and never look back.
Several months later we were back in our fertility
specialist's office discussing the transfer of the four
remaining embryos. Our doctor had warned us not to get
our hopes up high. He said that some of them might not
even survive the thawing process and that even if they
did we would only have a 17 percent chance of one of
them implanting. We figured we had nothing to lose.
The process for preparing for the transfer of the frozen
embryos wasn't as bad as the other IVF attempts.
Although it still involved medication and shots, at
least I did not have to have any surgery. It also was
much less expensive than doing a regular IVF procedure
On November 17, 2003 I had four perfectly thawed embryos
transferred into my uterus. These were the embryos that
had been frozen for over a year... the same embryos
that my doctor didn't think would amount to anything.
On July 29, 2004 (a month before our 8 year wedding
anniversary and several months before my 40th birthday)
I gave birth to a healthy 8lbs 7oz beautiful baby girl.
Our angel is now 8 months old and there isn't a day
that goes by that I don't look at her when she's asleep
and get tears in my eyes. She wouldn't be here if we
didn't go through everything that we went through. She
truly is our miracle baby and we are so grateful to
have her in our lives.
We wish all the best for anyone reading this and hope
that your dreams come true. Believe in miracles.