posted Oct 26, 2006
I have spent most of my life caring for
other people’s children. Babysitting through middle
and high school, working as a nanny through undergraduate
and graduate school and finally becoming an elementary
school teacher. I always wanted children, and when I
became engaged to a former pre-school teacher, I knew
I had met the man I wanted to raise MANY children with.
And then we hit a brick wall…
The day after I accepted his proposal I was rushed
to the hospital with acute abdominal pain. A cyst was
found on my right ovary and I had surgery three days
later. The doctor found stage 4 endometriosis with severe
damage to both ovaries. We moved our wedding up a year
so we could start “trying” and I did a 6-month
cycle of Lupron.
Two years and six IUIs
later I was ready to try IVF.
Unfortunately, my FSH was in the thirties and I was
told the chance of me conceiving with my own eggs was
miniscule. I was 28 years old and I thought my heart
When the doctor first mentioned egg
donation I cringed. This was not how it was supposed
to be. We talked about adoption, but I worried that
I would always regret not fulfilling my dream of carrying
a child. Two months later we were matched with a donor.
Once we went forward I did not look back. We were successful
on the first try.
One thing I want to point out is that those of us that
use donor eggs ARE the biological mothers. These children
are made of our flesh and blood. We are not the genetic
mothers, and should not expect carbon copies of ourselves
(although I am told often that my daughter looks just
like me), but every time a child is created it is a
roll of the dice. I guess using donor eggs just means
that one of the dice is missing some dots.
My twins are approaching their fourth birthday. They
are my children. They have my quirks. We are in the
process of adopting a sister for them from China. There
are many ways to grow a family.