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Joan's Story
Posted January 20, 2006

My husband and I have been married now for almost 4 years. We started trying for a family about 3 months after we were married. I went to see the doctor about 18 months later, thinking I was the one with the problem. He said that because of our ages (both 22) we should not be in such a hurry and to go home and keep trying. After about another 9 months we went back and he ordered a semen analysis for my husband as that is the easiest place to start. The test results came back with a NO sperm count.

We were devastated. My husband is not interested in a sperm bank and will not discuss the subject at all. He would rather I went and slept with someone else and not told him. I can't understand his complete denial of what is going on. For me adoption, though a wonderful thing, is an option. I need to know the type of prenatal care that was taken to ensure that the baby is going to be healthy.

I feel so alone and the need for a child is eating me up. The more time goes by and the more my friends have children the more hopeless it seems. Nobody seems to understand what we are going through, and everybody's response is "Why not just adopt." It's not JUST about getting a child. It's about the whole experience of feeling that child grow inside of you and giving birth (I know not the most painless experience, but part of the whole thing) and holding that new baby in your arms for the first time.

If there is anyone out there going through the same type of situation, it would be so helpful to know how you and your spouse are dealing with this. I know our marriage is strong, but is it strong enough for his total denial and my need for a child.

Feel free to email the writer of this post.

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