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Katherine's Story
Posted July 11, 2009

I am a surrogate. I do traditional surrogacy (TS) where we used my eggs and use a syringe at home to inseminate the Intended Father's (IF) sperm.

I am 30 years old and I do not want children of my own, I like children well enough I guess, just not enough to want to raise any. However, it seemed to me to be a waste of a good, functioning set of "equipment", so I offered up my womb. I am in New Zealand where commercial surrogacy is illegal, even re-imbursing the surrogate for her pregnancy relates costs, like maternity clothes, is against the law.

I first got into surrogacy when it appeared that my brother and his wife were struggling to conceive. I thought to myself that I could carry a baby for them. A year or so later and they had their little girl. Not long after that I saw a letter to the editor in a trashy weekly womans magazine with an address for a surrogacy support website on it. I signed up and met an amazing group of women for whom infertility was not something they would give in to. They would have a child of their hearts, if not their bodies, come hell or high water. All of these women have an incredible strength about them, they have put up with so much in life, they have fought against their failing bodies, they have fought against insane medical bureacracy, they have kept marriages going when most others would have given up - all for hte simple need to feel their baby in their arms. While I can't really understand that need, I can empathise with it.

I met my Intended Parents (IP's) through the website and three months later we attempted our first insem. We were incredibly lucky and got pregnant on the first try. This was my first pregnancy, so I didn't really know what to expect. Aside from some awful morning sickness, the pregnancy was a dream. 12 months ago I gave birth to a gorgeous 9lb baby girl (Y). The parents were in with me for the birth and they watched the whole thing. When she was only 20 seconds old, she was thrust into their arms and the new mum promptly burst into tears, the dad followed soon after. The mum had been doing a regime of Induced Lactation so that she could breastfeed her precious bundle and within minutes of being born she was suckling like a pro. The parents were over the moon - 12 months on and they still are. She was adopted at 3 months and is now all theirs, in law as well as in spirit.

In the meantime, through the website I have met another couple and after our third attempt to ttc we have a positive result. I am currently 4w 3d along and the parents are still grinning like stupid kids at the fair. They have become very close friends with my first couple and plan to raise the children as 'cousin' even though they will in fact be half-siblings. We are 100% open about how the children came into this world and I am the Tummy Mummy but known as Aunty.

All this to say, there is always hope, there are always options, there is always a road open to you. If you suffer from infertility there is always another way in which you might be able to make your dream a reality.

Never give up your hope, for without hope we become hopeless.

Update from July 12, 2009

I would just like to clarify something that I put in my original story. I indicated that the two surro kids would grow up as "cousins" as that was how I had interpretted it. I sent the first IM the story and this is what she replied with:

"S, A, M and I have talked at length about the relationship between Y and Boo (currently carrying). We decided that Y is now a 'big sister' as that seems to come most naturally to all of us. It is after all, her true relationship with wee Boo - half sister anyway :)

We tried out the 'cousin' thing, and it just made us feel that it wasn't the truth and that honesty was the best policy in all things. So Boo will be Y's little sister (half sister depending on how old she is when we explain everything to her in full) that lives with Aunty S and Uncle A, and is their baby that you carried also."

Hopefully that is a bit clearer. The two families are really so close that they have an amazingly special bond. My new IP's (S & A) are godparents to my first surro-bub (Y) and my first IP's (B & M) will most likely be godparents to the one I am currently carrying, nicknamed Boo for now.

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Katherine sent in a touching poem as well:

A poem from a Traditional Surrogate to the child on her Naming Day

The Love

You, oh you
The child of my body
The child of your Mum and Dad’s soul
They called you here
And you came.
There was never any doubt.
They called you here in Love
The Love
So much Love.
But you already knew that.

Wise old soul
You have been here before
You are as old as Atlantis
Still, you were called
So you came.
Was there ever any doubt?
Reincarnated by Love
The Love
So much Love.
But you already knew that.

You have gifts
Those beautiful Love bubbles
You make people feel whole again
Eyes that read hearts
Wow, you came.
There was never any doubt.
You heal us all with Love
The Love
So much Love.
But you already knew that.

You knew, yes?
Before you had arrived
The child of your Parent’s soul
How much you’re Loved
So you came.
There was never any doubt.
Bask, little one, in Love
The Love
So much Love
But you already do that.

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