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Michelle's Story
Posted July 23, 2005

My journey began with a phone call from the surrogate company I work with. Linda (from the surrogacy agency) called me not even 6 months after I had given birth to a baby girl for another couple, asking me if I would talk to a couple from Albania. They've lived in the US for over a year, and spoke fairly good English. I didn't know if I was ready so soon, but I agreed to talk to them with no promises.

Adelina (the intended mother) called me a few days later, her English was excellent, and it was more comfortable than I thought it would be to talk with her. I asked her why they could not have children. At the time, on the phone, she just gave me a simple explanation -- her uterus was not strong enough to carry a baby to full term. We didn't talk for long, they wanted to meet me in person to talk more. We set up a meeting for two weeks later.

When I saw them both for the first time, the first thing that came to my mind was, "how could two such beautiful people not be able to have children?". We all sat down and she talked a little about where they where from and the problems they had had trying to have a baby. She got a little emotional when she talked about her 4th pregnancy that ended in having a premature baby at 27 weeks -- the baby only lived for 2 weeks.

I looked at her and saw the hurt in her eyes when she said "We only want a reason to live..."

Adelina's story

Adelina and Julian were married in Albania over 10 years ago. They were both from big families & wanted very much to have children of their own. It didnt take long for Adelina to get pregnant and the problems to start.

Her first pregnancy ended after just a few months. The second seemed more hopeful -- despite the bleeding and cramps she managed to carry to 8 months, but the day she went to the hospital she was bleeding and cramping, emergency c-section the baby was stillborn. At the hospital she remembers being in such agony and not being able to have her husband there because no men are allowed to be in the operating room.

It took a few years for them to try again. As soon as they found out they were pregnant they sold everything they could to move to the US in hope of being more successful at keeping what they thought was their last hope of having a child. The Dr. here kept her on bed rest and stiched her cervix in hope of keep her from going into labor early, but it didnt work. Adelina went into labor at 27 weeks and it could not be stopped. Her beautiful baby Melissa hung onto life for just over 2 weeks, but could not get strong enough to breath on her own.

Adelina was forced to get her tubes tied to prevent future difficulties with herself. It was taking a toll on her physically and emotionally. They both decided it was not meant to be until a freind from her English class offered advice on looking into getting a surrogate.

(Me, Michelle) - I had faith that everything would work out for them both and things would go smoothly with no worries. The first attempt was made in January 2003. 2 embryo's were implanted in me and 5 were frozen. It did not take.

Second attempt: only 1 embryo survived the thawing and it took!! But almost 4 weeks later I miscarried. I told her if they wanted to try another surrogate they might be more successful. They deserved every right to choose another woman. I did not want to keep losing hope for them. They wouldn't hear of it. They wanted to try one more time with me and then that would be it.

The third attempt was done July 5th. They only had 2 viable embryos. Two weeks later I tested positive!! When I was 6 weeks I had an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy and there were two in there :) Adelina was excited. She invited me come stay at her home to celebrate for a few days.

A little after I arrived at her home we all went to a carnival with her friends and their children. We were only there for a hour and I had to run and use the bathroom -- it turned out that I was bleeding. Bruna hurried and took me to the hospital. By the time we got there I was soaked through my jeans and passed two blood clots. They told me there was nothing they could do, it was a threatened miscarriage, which would most likely end up as a complete miscarriage.

Adelina & Julian kept me at their place for 4 days and drove me home. I stayed on bed rest and continued my medication in hopes everything would be ok. It was hard to accept that this was their last chance. I prayed to God asking why would he put these people through all of this. If anyone deserved to be parents it was these people...

After a few more weeks of bed rest, I went back to my doctor for another ultrasound. I was still pregnant and there where still two in there!!

I had an US (ultrasound) every three weeks after that to keep a eye on them. I had no problems the rest of the pregnancy (except your extra aches and pains from carrying twins.)

On March 6, I went into the hospital to get induced at 37 weeks. After being in labor for over 10 hours, I was not dilating and it was causing stress on the placenta of one of the twins (I was bleeding). I had to have a c-section.

At 10:45 pm Elisa was born, 5lbs 8-1/2 oz and at 10:46pm Anisa, 6lbs 3oz made her appearance. They looked so beautiful and were bigger than expected. They only needed oxygen for one day, and were eating on their own within 3 days.

I went to the hospital to see them before they got to go home as a complete family. To see Adelina holding and singing to them brought tears to my eyes. I thought of the other children she had and was not able to do this with.

My emotions were hard to control when I left that day. My friend who had come with me asked why I was upset, I should know that having a baby for myself or being a surrogate mother for others screws up your emotions for a bit. I told her; " It's not just from carrying the twins and having the feelings of separation from them but it's also the separation from the parents. Adelina made it easy for me to get close. She was there for everything -- the doctor's appointments, the ultrasounds. She came to my home every week to help me clean when I was feeling sick and sore, and brought me food when I felt too sick to even think of cooking, lol. They brought me to their home to meet their family and freinds.

I not only helped create a family, I made new friends.

---

My message to other women considering surrogacy:

If anyone asks why do it, why put yourself through all that? Tell them what that man, woman, or couple went through for years before you stepped in to take their pain away and give them a reason to live.

 

 


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