Posted July 23, 2005
My journey began with a phone call from
the surrogate company I work with. Linda (from the surrogacy
agency) called me not even 6 months after I had given
birth to a baby girl for another couple, asking me if
I would talk to a couple from Albania. They've lived
in the US for over a year, and spoke fairly good English.
I didn't know if I was ready so soon, but I agreed to
talk to them with no promises.
Adelina (the intended mother) called
me a few days later, her English was excellent, and
it was more comfortable than I thought it would be to
talk with her. I asked her why they could not have children.
At the time, on the phone, she just gave me a simple
explanation -- her uterus was not strong enough to carry
a baby to full term. We didn't talk for long, they wanted
to meet me in person to talk more. We set up a meeting
for two weeks later.
When I saw them both for the first time,
the first thing that came to my mind was, "how
could two such beautiful people not be able to have
children?". We all sat down and she talked a little
about where they where from and the problems they had
had trying to have a baby. She got a little emotional
when she talked about her 4th pregnancy that ended in
having a premature baby at 27 weeks -- the baby only
lived for 2 weeks.
I looked at her and saw the hurt in her
eyes when she said "We only want a reason to live..."
Adelina and Julian were married in Albania over 10 years
ago. They were both from big families & wanted very
much to have children of their own. It didnt take long
for Adelina to get pregnant and the problems to start.
Her first pregnancy ended after just
a few months. The second seemed more hopeful -- despite
the bleeding and cramps she managed to carry to 8 months,
but the day she went to the hospital she was bleeding
and cramping, emergency c-section the baby was stillborn.
At the hospital she remembers being in such agony and
not being able to have her husband there because no
men are allowed to be in the operating room.
It took a few years for them to try again.
As soon as they found out they were pregnant they sold
everything they could to move to the US in hope of being
more successful at keeping what they thought was their
last hope of having a child. The Dr. here kept her on
bed rest and stiched her cervix in hope of keep her
from going into labor early, but it didnt work. Adelina
went into labor at 27 weeks and it could not be stopped.
Her beautiful baby Melissa hung onto life for just over
2 weeks, but could not get strong enough to breath on
Adelina was forced to get her tubes tied
to prevent future difficulties with herself. It was
taking a toll on her physically and emotionally. They
both decided it was not meant to be until a freind from
her English class offered advice on looking into getting
(Me, Michelle) - I had
faith that everything would work out for them both and
things would go smoothly with no worries. The first
attempt was made in January 2003. 2 embryo's were implanted
in me and 5 were frozen. It did not take.
Second attempt: only 1 embryo survived the thawing and
it took!! But almost 4 weeks later I miscarried. I told
her if they wanted to try another surrogate they might
be more successful. They deserved every right to choose
another woman. I did not want to keep losing hope for
them. They wouldn't hear of it. They wanted to try one
more time with me and then that would be it.
The third attempt was done July 5th. They
only had 2 viable embryos. Two weeks later I tested
positive!! When I was 6 weeks I had an ultrasound to
confirm the pregnancy and there were two in there :)
Adelina was excited. She invited me come stay at her
home to celebrate for a few days.
A little after I arrived at her home
we all went to a carnival with her friends and their
children. We were only there for a hour and I had to
run and use the bathroom -- it turned out that I was
bleeding. Bruna hurried and took me to the hospital.
By the time we got there I was soaked through my jeans
and passed two blood clots. They told me there was nothing
they could do, it was a threatened miscarriage, which
would most likely end up as a complete miscarriage.
Adelina & Julian kept me at their
place for 4 days and drove me home. I stayed on bed
rest and continued my medication in hopes everything
would be ok. It was hard to accept that this was their
last chance. I prayed to God asking why would he put
these people through all of this. If anyone deserved
to be parents it was these people...
After a few more weeks of bed rest, I
went back to my doctor for another ultrasound. I was
still pregnant and there where still two in there!!
I had an US (ultrasound) every three
weeks after that to keep a eye on them. I had no problems
the rest of the pregnancy (except your extra aches and
pains from carrying twins.)
On March 6, I went into the hospital to get induced
at 37 weeks. After being in labor for over 10 hours,
I was not dilating and it was causing stress on the
placenta of one of the twins (I was bleeding). I had
to have a c-section.
At 10:45 pm Elisa was born, 5lbs 8-1/2
oz and at 10:46pm Anisa, 6lbs 3oz made her appearance.
They looked so beautiful and were bigger than expected.
They only needed oxygen for one day, and were eating
on their own within 3 days.
I went to the hospital to see them before
they got to go home as a complete family. To see Adelina
holding and singing to them brought tears to my eyes.
I thought of the other children she had and was not
able to do this with.
My emotions were hard to control when
I left that day. My friend who had come with me asked
why I was upset, I should know that having a baby for
myself or being a surrogate mother for others screws
up your emotions for a bit. I told her; " It's
not just from carrying the twins and having the feelings
of separation from them but it's also the separation
from the parents. Adelina made it easy for me to get
close. She was there for everything -- the doctor's
appointments, the ultrasounds. She came to my home every
week to help me clean when I was feeling sick and sore,
and brought me food when I felt too sick to even think
of cooking, lol. They brought me to their home to meet
their family and freinds.
I not only helped create a family, I
made new friends.
My message to other women considering
If anyone asks why do it, why put yourself
through all that? Tell them what that man, woman, or
couple went through for years before you stepped in
to take their pain away and give them a reason to live.