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Pamela's Story

I first dealt with the confusion and difficulty caused by infertility in isolation. This was a time not so long ago in my prime baby-making years (pre-"Dr Google") when most information on the topic was only available via the doctor's office, library, or book store. For more than a decade my husband and I tried unsuccessfully to conceive. We tried both conventional and "unconventional" methods -- none of which were covered by health insurance: Clomid, IUI, ICSI IVF (several times), acupuncture, yoga for fertility, raspberry tea, chiropractic adjustments, Chinese herbs, Fertility herbal blends. Diet changes. Lighting candles. You name it, we tried it.

It was only after we ceased treatments that I began to fully appreciate that infertility is about more than making a baby. It touches and changes our lives in ways large and small. It's not something one ever gets over, we can only come to terms with it and that's not easy to do in isolation.

That's when I decided to start a blog called Coming2Terms. Within a matter of weeks I was pleasantly surprised by how much writing and joining a community of those who had walked in my shoes helped to make sense of my long-suppressed emotions and sense of "otherness."

I'm now passionate about raising awareness concerning the societal challenges caused by infertility -- in particular the emotional hurdles that remain long after the physical and financial demands of treatment end. My life no longer revolves around doctor visits and 28-day cycle watches. I live and work in Silicon Valley and devote my free time to raising awareness about infertility.

Last June I shared my infertility experience with the New York Times, which led to a health feature story. I've since written a book on the same subject called Silent Sorority . My writing can also be found on Fertility Authority. My hope is that one day there will be less stigma and more understanding about couples who try joyfully to conceive only to find that nature and modern medicine don't always cooperate.

 

 

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