Posted June 24,
It was time to have a baby! We were married
in July and decided to give it a whirl. After all, when
we were in our 20's we aborted our first natural pregnancy.
Age 30, we got pregnancy in the first month....only
to miscarry 6 weeks later. I thought it was a punishment
from God for taking the life of our first child.
We instantly tried again, month after month after month.
Finally just over a year of trying we conceived!!!!
9 months later, our beautiful baby girl arrived. We
were blessed and I was done with one!... or so I thought.
She turned three and I knew she needed a sibling. So,
the chore of getting pregnant began. Month after month
after month. Nothing happened so we turned to the doctors,
I was 35 at the time. The doctor sent my husband for
analysis and the doc said all was well, since we
already had one, just give it time and relax (we've
all heard that before). Many more months went by and
nothing, so off to the fertility clinic we went.
The first minute of being there the fert. doc said,
"well as, you know, you're husbands sperm sucks".
Well, there you have it, a blow to a man's ego since
our GP said he was fine. The journey began.
It took almost a year to convince myself to
go ahead with ivf, icsi.
We went into debt. Shots, drugs, frustration.
My husband blamed himself and was so mad that
he took it out on me. We were not a united couple.
I produced 22 eggs. 19 were good, 12 fertilized
into beautiful 6 celled embryos. Two were implanted and 1
took. We were going to have another baby!!! Until 6 weeks
later and no heartbeat at the ultrasound. I didn't even want
my husband to touch me. I was so mad. Mad at the doctors,
mad at my husband, mad at God. Again, I felt punished. To
top it off, I had to have a D & C surgergy and be put
back on the waiting list.
More drugs, more bitchiness..... three month
later, they did a frozen embryo transer. 2 transferred, 8
still frozen,in case.
Day 11 after transfer and I start to spot. I
realized i missed taking my prometrium by 4 hours. Did I screw
this up? the spotting did not last long though. Now the waiting
is KILLING me. I can barely concentrate. 2 days til I get
my pt. I took a hpt this morning, it tested positive. I AM
SCARED. Maybe God is finished punishing me and will let my
6 year old become a big sister finally.